Thursday, February 02, 2006
In the dark
we must see with the eyes of a cat.
ive been afraid of myself for too long. haven't we all. i mean its all a matter of balance, right? what goes in, what comes out, the pressing disastrous reality of the world around you measured against the emphemeral meaninglessness of it all? but the basic idea is power, isnt it? and the desire for power is something i never really understood until last summer. power to be. and its a hard thing to conjure up. empowerment is probably the most overused concept since equality. but real empowerment comes from inside, which is of course to say, it comes from outside. something like f. said 'encounter the other inside of the self.' something like that but better. the source, the fountainhead, godhead, the irreducible dot. something like that. the thing inside you that isnt you, that tells you who you are, or could be, if you encountered it properly, on your own terms. because you cant be until your being is displaced by something else, once you realize your self is just a moment, a moment that is being fed by something greater, something that can be chanelled into that moment, expanding it beyond all limitations by exploding it from within. and there are all sorts of tricks for doing that. ive found a few. just need to keep practicing them. so yeah. plug in and shine out, before the bulb bursts. because the bastards have us up against the wall.
ive been afraid of myself for too long. haven't we all. i mean its all a matter of balance, right? what goes in, what comes out, the pressing disastrous reality of the world around you measured against the emphemeral meaninglessness of it all? but the basic idea is power, isnt it? and the desire for power is something i never really understood until last summer. power to be. and its a hard thing to conjure up. empowerment is probably the most overused concept since equality. but real empowerment comes from inside, which is of course to say, it comes from outside. something like f. said 'encounter the other inside of the self.' something like that but better. the source, the fountainhead, godhead, the irreducible dot. something like that. the thing inside you that isnt you, that tells you who you are, or could be, if you encountered it properly, on your own terms. because you cant be until your being is displaced by something else, once you realize your self is just a moment, a moment that is being fed by something greater, something that can be chanelled into that moment, expanding it beyond all limitations by exploding it from within. and there are all sorts of tricks for doing that. ive found a few. just need to keep practicing them. so yeah. plug in and shine out, before the bulb bursts. because the bastards have us up against the wall.
# posted by Isreal Fake @ 12:55 AM 
Comments:
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i was once taught in a dream, by my most esteemed love, how to become intangible. now do You think i could translate that practice into my waking life? no! (i'm such an idiot, utterly powerless with the knowledge of true power). but i am striving to remember! to always know it again (and/or)y/o (still)todovia. this is the technique We need. to remember this again, to know it still, and We will never be against a wall, but can instead leave them move through and beyond the boundries that others let limit them.
In the dark, we can only see as much as we can. Unless you're a creation of someone else's expression of self or form or some other bullshit, in which case you may think you can see like a cat, because you are a cat, but your cat like fur shimmers between skin and scales, because they were never really sure they didn't dream you anyway.
Gosh. Long sentences are terrible.
I think what your trying to say is *being* is something - understanding the self, the relativity, the be-ing, not pow-er. Cognac is lovely. I only just found out that its the champagne of brandy. Long way to go with that one, but anyway..
And anyway, even if you know this self, this being, this enlightened state, who says you can actually communicate it with the rest of the fucking population. Not that you necessarily want to, but just say you wanted some king of external understanding, after finding the internal. Just say. Well, for example, jesus didn't do too well, did he? and neither did siddhartha, as the stories go.
So we come down to that one state of DISATISFACTION. That blessed state of 'if only', or 'its just just over almost there'. because when you know its here, and surprises arent that exiting anymore (please god, just let his head explode now). Well. Well.
Yes, there are greater things. there are lesser things. BUt these things are neither small nor great or tall. Unless you think they are.
(maybe)
Gosh. Long sentences are terrible.
I think what your trying to say is *being* is something - understanding the self, the relativity, the be-ing, not pow-er. Cognac is lovely. I only just found out that its the champagne of brandy. Long way to go with that one, but anyway..
And anyway, even if you know this self, this being, this enlightened state, who says you can actually communicate it with the rest of the fucking population. Not that you necessarily want to, but just say you wanted some king of external understanding, after finding the internal. Just say. Well, for example, jesus didn't do too well, did he? and neither did siddhartha, as the stories go.
So we come down to that one state of DISATISFACTION. That blessed state of 'if only', or 'its just just over almost there'. because when you know its here, and surprises arent that exiting anymore (please god, just let his head explode now). Well. Well.
Yes, there are greater things. there are lesser things. BUt these things are neither small nor great or tall. Unless you think they are.
(maybe)
# posted by 
: 2:26 AM
: 2:26 AM
i agree about the cognac. went through a phase there myself. you know brandy's actually a stimulant? try it with esspresso. tzing!
as far as communication of mystical experience goes, yeah right, good luck. poetry music? nope nope. but cummunication within a mystical experience. there you go. problem solving. not that we can say what we felt, but we can feel what to say later? learn to understand what is going on all the time in a deeper way? you need to the power to be. and thats the whole point right?
internal external. no dualisms please. "the way out is in" may sound trite but the deeper you go the more you see. and sure you end up isolated and hated and actually more incommunicable to the world the more enlightened you become, but if you can really tap into the source, the dopest of the shit, then you've got a chance to propell yourself through their existence on flaming wings. maybe. but were not using words properly at all here. burn it down. and still i cant bring myself to delete all this crap. we should really start another. fuck.
as far as communication of mystical experience goes, yeah right, good luck. poetry music? nope nope. but cummunication within a mystical experience. there you go. problem solving. not that we can say what we felt, but we can feel what to say later? learn to understand what is going on all the time in a deeper way? you need to the power to be. and thats the whole point right?
internal external. no dualisms please. "the way out is in" may sound trite but the deeper you go the more you see. and sure you end up isolated and hated and actually more incommunicable to the world the more enlightened you become, but if you can really tap into the source, the dopest of the shit, then you've got a chance to propell yourself through their existence on flaming wings. maybe. but were not using words properly at all here. burn it down. and still i cant bring myself to delete all this crap. we should really start another. fuck.
have no fear. the feat of delete: go for it.
it's not like You can't keep doing it. or do anything else to contact the way.
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it's not like You can't keep doing it. or do anything else to contact the way.
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